Meancouver

An appeal from the Sierra Leone foreign minister

Harper’s Conservatives have always, with loud voices, trumpeted that they represent Canada, that they have strong and wide spread grass roots support, that Canada gave them a mandate to do whatever they want because what they want and what Canada wants are inseperable.

Yet, all this talk seems somewhat hallow and overblown. It makes one want to look a little closer at who they are representing.

Is it Canadians?

Doesn’t seem to be. I mean, we get left in Mexican prisons, we are told to leave our homes and go work on the oil patch. We are told that we don’t need infrastructure, or nuclear safety, or rights, or freedom of expression, or to know what the government is up to. They have also made it nearly impossible for any MP that is not Conservative to get anything done through a newly constructed maze of permissions and bureaucracy.

Is it Conservatives?

Doesn’t seem to be that either. As this whole ‘in-out’ scandal comes to light, small time Conservative candidates are being approached by Elections Canada. They seem to be a little pissed to find this was going on, giving what they know freely to the Elections Canada. The story is that they were told money was coming into their accounts and then coming out again. When some of these cash strapped campaigns asked if they could use any of the money, the national office told them to go fuck themselves.

Unlike the Conservatives I don’t blame these small, local campaigns for this mess. They were struggling campaigns not inside the Conservative power base and who can really expect them to have sorted out all the legal trickery and doublespeek that this scandel involves. The fact that these candidates (or the people they seek to represent) do not matter to the Conservative Party is apparent in the vitriol flung at them by Conservative Party Spokesman Ryan Sparrow.

“These are people who wanted to run for the Conservative Party. They knew the program was legal. They are speaking out now – a full two years later because they lost.”

What the fuck!?!

First of all, “These are people who wanted to run for the Conservative Party of Canada.” Yeah, not the Douche-Bag Party of Canada. Not their fault really, improper labeling.

Secondly, “They knew the program was legal.” Yeah right! We all know these small campaigns are renowned for the vast legal research teams that they have on hand in case the National Office calls up and asks them to do something and they need to look up whether it’s legal or not. It seems far more likely that they assumed that the very rich and well equipped Conservative headquarters would have sorted that out already. Which i bet they did, and had probably also sorted out a defense strategy for when they got caught. Although, their standby tactic of Be An Obstructive, Litigating Asshole is starting to wear a little thin.

Thirdly, “They are speaking out now – a full two years later because they lost.”

What the fuck!?! You’re accusing your own Party’s candidate of sour grapes because they didn’t win? On top of that, you’re saying that they are taking it out on the Conservative Party of Canada? What strange Delusional Asshole drug are you on? (Sounds like a mix of cocain and acid to me, let’s call it a Tory Popper.)

So, if the non-Conservative power base candidates are nothing more then a tool for funneling money to the Alberta dominated Party Headquarters, and the plight of average Canadians really has little pull with the Conservative Government ,who does that point to as being the ones represented at the levers of power?

Either

a) Hockey fans

b) Rich Albertans

c) Rich Albertans being told what to do by Rich Americans

My pick is a)

Oh wait, part of Harper’s Law and Order crack down was to arrest Guy Lafleur for trying to help his son through a crises. Oh, and their staunch supporter Don Cherry has turned Coaches Corner into a grandstand for the Conservatives Afghanistan policy.

I’m still sticking with a) though, the other two are just too depressing.

The UN is giving Canada grief about our ‘antagonistic and mocking’ attitude towards global development. On all the big global issues like poverty, hunger, disease, the environment, climate change and foreign assistance Canada is now seen standing tall and giving the world community the finger, or two fingers in the case of climate change. We are seen as lacking leadership on global issues, meanwhile being led by an administration that espouses to have their picture next to the word leadership in the dictionary (Also in the Harper’s Modern Canadian Dictionary: Dion’s picture next to the word not-a-leader. A nicely illustrated rendition of Ontario sits above deadbeat. Also, democracy is defined as: DO AS I SAY!)

The world used to admire Canada. That we as a nation had ideals and acted upon them, supplying aid and peacekeepers and generally doing what we could as a small nation to help out. What do we stand for now? Is it anything? Do we have values beyond cashing in quick and hoarding what we can? That is the Harper ethos and it is rapidly taking over the old Canada, the Canada that had its flaws but that one could take pride in. A Canada that tried, a Canada that cared, a Canada that was more then the grabastic hell hole that Harper is trying to make it. Fuck you Harper, we will have our Canada back and then some. You just wait and see.

I can’t believe I just saw Dr. Phil tell his audience that they should all immediately call the authorities about anyone they suspect might maybe possibly be a pedophile. Luckily Dr. Phil’s power has been in sharp decline since he was outed as a fraud. Still, what remains of his audience I’m sure will count it as their duty to keep up the witch hunt and flood the police with baseless accusations, thus diverting them from finding the actual sexual predators. Good job.

So far, the Beijing Olympics is by far the best Olympics in a long while, and it hasn’t even started yet! China seems to be a little shell shocked at the real consequences of being in the world spot light. You guys wanted it. You got it. They didn’t seem to account for the fact that the world doesn’t content itself with just the fine table settings and expensive furniture you bought just for the occasion. Nope, the Olympics brings the sort of crowd that will go through your dirty laundry to look at your knickers and checks the attic for the deformed little family secret sitting crouched over a bucket of fish heads.

These guys also need to work on their PR, they’ve gotten for to used to a domestic audience with no other sources of information and that have been trained to obedience for generations. The campaign to paint the Chinese as the victims of Tibetan brutality was ridiculous and not taken seriously by even the ill informed outside of China.

This sloppy, ham fisted stuff that flies at home doesn’t really work in a world that is largely based on the battle between conflicting ideas and perspectives. I mean, we have to choose between Coke and Pepsi, and do you think that’s easy? We can’t even have a drink without their being some grueling psychological struggle involved. Its taken our advertisers and PR firms trillions of dollars to keep ahead of public media savvy. Our brains have been hard fought for. You guys just lock everyone in a room and won’t share the remote. In China putting up with that might make you loyal but pull it on the rest of the world and we just tend to think your a jerk.

Speaking of being a jerk China has to sort out this Tibet stuff. They should have resolved it before but they’re learning that lesson the hard way. China has to figure out that negotiating is not deciding how you want things to be and then having the other person agree with you, and if they don’t agree then they’re the one that is not negotiating. Seeing the Chinese diplomat to Canada on the National was embarrassing, as he spent the interview merely repeating that China is right and reality is wrong. Sure buddy.

On the flip side, what makes China my Hero is their almost complete disregard for copyright law. Bootlegs, pirating, imitations, designer counterfeiting, of these China is King. Sure, they have some negative effects too but to look at in terms of the Olympics I admire China’s thus far hands off approach to Olympic counterfeiting. Instead of all the money from all the sales of all things Olympic going to the top few, this allows people at all levels of the economy to benefit directly from the Olympics. Many counterfeiters are poor people hand making dolls or memorabilia for a few extra dollars. Enough of this trickle down shit, in an event like this everyone should benefit directly, not just those lucky enough to own hotels.

Here China is WAY ahead of Vancouver, with our own impending Olympics. Here the Olympic committee is suing Olympic Pizza to remove the rings from its awning even though it has been there for decades. I understand trying to have some control over the Olympic Brand and stopping everything in the city from becoming Olympic themed but at least grandfather those that have been around for awhile. Don’t be a douche bag. Besides, you guys are doing a fine job of tarnishing the Olympic brand yourselves. The flame, the rings, the word Olympics used to mean something. It is an ideal we strive for. An ideal of justice, of fairness, of nations competing peacefully even in the face of conflict.

Now, I don’t think their should be a boycott but the angle you guys are pushing it from is kind of sick. By repeating that it is just a sporting event and therefore apolitical, that it would cause irreversible emotional harm to athletes, and giving the impression that a boycott would shrink your profit margins, you undermine the whole idea of the Olympics. It is not merchandise or medals or record times or any of that shit. If these are the only reasons you can come up with then I really want nothing to do with your Olympics.

People love the Olympics because it brings the human race together. You should be avoiding a boycott by emphasising that through it China is opening up to the world. That having thousands of foreign peoples and journalists and atheletes wandering around talking to the Chinese people will allow outside influences, will break the state monopoly on reality, will help China deal with its multitude of problems and hardships. China needs this, the world needs this, and to reduce this whole wonderful process to “it’s just a sporting event” is blasphamy.

So you IOC guys better watch it with your spiritual gutting of the Olympics. Even more powerful then a political boycotte of the Games would be a peoples Boycott. If your Olympics is nothing more then a sporting event with cute plush toys for sale, such a thing wouldn’t bother me at all.