Damn I'm Good!

During the election when asked about our financial plan to deal with the biggest and most hideously complicated global economic crisis in history, we told you all would be revealed at the Economic Update.   Now that the time has come for us to unveil the Economic Update, We are here to tell you that we actually meant to say that it would be at the Budget. Sorry. My bad.

Sure massive job loss means millions of Canadians are on or over the brink of financial collapse. Sure vital industries are collapsing all around us and markets have gone batshit crazy so that grey haired economists feel like they’re having a flash back to that time in collage when that guy took too much acid and ran naked around the quad with a squid on his head for six hours until he finally passed out after humping a lamp post a little too vigorously.

But it can all wait a few more months. And even then we might not do anything about it anyway because we’re steady on the course of restraint. At everyone else’s expense of course.

Oh, and we’re going to make a direct attack on the fiscal viability of all opposing parties. For Good Measure of course. Its far cheaper to have a one party state then to mess about with all that democracy nonsense.

Some my criticize what numbers we do reveal, saying they’re “made up” or they “Don’t add up” or that we pull numbers from the air like dandelion fluffs  floating gently on a warm summer breeze.

But No! Our numbers are sound and solid. Besides, do you know what’s going to happen? Does anyone?

No, so now its time to just lay back and let the current take us back to shore.