Thanks Big Daddy! Im sure all our parents appreciate it.

I was shocked to read about the Toronto incidents of people with Liberal signs on their lawns having their tires slashed, their property defaced and even their brakes cut, almost causing several accidents.  What the hell are brown shirt tactics doing in Canada? Are we going to have a Night of Long Knives as well?

And its not just Toronto, apparently this is country wide.

The Vancouver Police must not have much to do, every day this week they’ve been out at Ontario and Broadway busting the guys who wait there for stray employment.  Ontario street has always been the place to go if you need work under the table.

One step below Labour Ready on the Blue Collar Hierarchy, people go there to hire someone to move some boxes, or load their car, or any other basic labor job, negotiated on the spot, usually for very cheap.

How can I even express my disgust at being part of a country that is complicit in the barbarity of Guantanimo? Video just got released of the Canadian boy Khadr being interogatted by CSIS. The boy plead for help, for release from a hell of isolation, hopelessness and torture. But we do nothing, our government stands in tacit support of the medieval policy of brutality and torture.

Ohhhhh Can-a-da,

Our Tar Sands Loving Land.

True Profit Comes,

When We Don’t Give A Damn.

With Oiled Hearts,

We’ll Watch You Die,

From Tailings and Disease.

With Bloodied Hands,

Oh Canada,

We’ll Do With You As We Please.

Water in Our Land,

Is Black and Deadly.

Oh Canada

We’ll Do With You As We Please

Oh Canada

We’ll Do with You As We Please!

Again!

Oh Can-a-da

Our Foreign Own-ed Land.

Iconic Companies,

Owned By The Japanese.

With Corporate Hearts,

The money men have always had their voices raised in a chorus of whinny indignation at how regulations, public ownership and sensible policy interfere with their God given right to make more money. They always will too, but unfortunately right now Canada and many other countries have in place governments that are receptive to their self involved bellyaching. So in order that obsolete commercial systems can squeeze more money out of a marketplace they have mercilessly milked for centuries, our governments are ready to sell out the privacy and civil rights of their citizens.

Far As the Eye Can See!

Dion’s proposed carbon tax has everyone in a tizzy. Its not a bad idea in and off itself, the only problem is its about twenty years to late.

The point of a carbon tax would be to ween society off of fossil fuels by making other options more economical. Also, proceeds would go to create a new sustainable infrastructures that people could switch too. Thing is, to really work it has to be in place BEFORE oil prices skyrocket. You know, ease the blow, create a smooth transition of rising cost rather then smack people with a sudden skyrocketing and no well established alternative to turn too.

Tar Money:

Money made by True Canadians (ie Albertans) from the extraction of oil from the so totally green tar sands. Really it’s Green. Really!

aka Tory campaign financing

Fuck Water!

We as a nation known in some circles as Canada face a dire threat. This threat, a threat from within, is more dire and threatening then any dire threat we have been direly threatened with before.

This is not the massing of highly trained Taliban troops around the Canadian mission in Kandahar. This is not the drowning of our economy in Tar Money nor the endless scandal’s and shady deals that glom to my government on a weekly basis. No, the direness of this threat is greater then all these combined.

Good Job!

Water:

A clear, colourless, tasteless liquid found everywhere. It falls from the sky for God’s sake!

Uses: A powerful industrial solvent, especially useful in tar Sands oil extraction.

Canadian Lakes:

Holes in the ground with water in them. There’s lots of them so their pretty much disposable.

Known Uses: Receptacles for mine tailings, used condoms, other shit we don’t want.

_

For More On The Reclassification of Pristine Canadian Lakes to “tailings impound areas” visit

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/06/16/condemned-lakes.html?ref=rss

We sold the Hockey Night In Canada Theme song!

Here is Steven Colbert rightly rubbing it in our face.

The phone rang the other day and I picked it up to be greeted by a very hard assed voice on the other end. This voice informed me rather directly that he was collecting donations for the police association and wouldn’t I like to contribute. He stated in a clear yet incomprehensible tone that that this money will go to help kids do something or other but also it would also be used to “keep violent criminals behind bars because that’s where they belong isn’t it!”

img source | The Globe and Mail

Okay Mr. Dallaire, its time you got off your high horse. You and your “Rule of Law” and your “human rights” had better take a reality pill. Do you know what we are dealing with out here in the “Real World?” We are fighting the most heinous inhuman monsters in the history of the world. They can not be talked to or reasoned with. The monstrous evil that is embodied in these terrorist scum demons is not due to any social issues of poverty or war or being pawns in the strategic maneuverings of political powers beyond their control. No, these sub human creatures of death have risen from hell to destroy everything we hold dear, like Human Rights and the Rule of Law.

So we the government are announcing a bold new plan, a massive plan, a long plan, a plan to rebuild the Canadian military!  A twenty year plan!  A plan which plans to spend $30 Billion on… no wait, $45 Billion… or is that $50 Billion, oh wait, no it’s $96 Billion…I think…

Yes, the plan, we have a Plan! Definitely a plan, a plan of spending! Spending billions! Lots of billions will be spent on the plan over twenty years. Spent on war, yes, WAR!  Its about time Canada be known for WAR again! Our WAR-iness shall never be questioned again! We shall be respected throughout the world because of this! Nothing makes friends like WAR!

Who thought that it would be an 83 year old heart patient that would be the latest victim of our cowardly cops. Yes he had a knife, a pocket knife, but apparently our cops no longer even bother to try and talk people down, like the unfortunate Robert Dziekanski who RCMP killed by continually zapping and then piling on.

The Syncrude slaughter is certainly getting attention in that the image of 500 wild ducks drowning in toxic sludge is enough to give nightmares to all except the hardest of Alberta Oil ideologists. Not to mention that its timing coincided with Alberta trying to convince its biggest customer that the Oil Sands are green as can be.

Few know that early in his political

career Steven Harper was forced to

take on a second job as a Mr. Potato Head.

Wow, the Hipster Wankers have screwed up again. The new uniforms for our athletes going to Beijing are an embarrassing mess that reek of the Wanker Elite and their atrocious tastes. The worst of all the outfits is the track suits covered in the eye tangling montage of red and white shit that I can’t make out other then the occasional piece of maple leaf. The shorts and singlet isn’t so bad though, has a bit of a sixties cut. They won’t be waring that in the opening ceremonies though. Imagine, all our athletes marching out in a crowd waring those track suits. I wouldn’t recommend viewing by epileptics.

source | lilithgallery.com

Move on… Nothing to see here.

Remember that episode of Trailer Park Boys where Ricky gets money somehow, then starts acting like a dick to everyone in the trailer park. And not just a regular dick but a MegaDick. He then announces he is going to get Drunk-As-Fuck that night because he finally had some money god damn it. Ricky wakes up the next day in mid-afternoon face down in the middle of one of the trailer parks gravel intersections.

Canberta

Where you ain’t shit unless your Conservative. And from Alberta. And fuckin’ rich as shit. And Christian. And White. And Married. And like oil. And wear shit like this:

Oh, and I’m suing you.

Prepare to be assimilated Canada…to a land without humans, the world of Ste-p4n H4rp3r!

Source | http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=482931

Is this another example of shoot, shovel and shut up from the People’s Republic of Alberta? I’m sorry but I prefer Canadian ideology over Albertan: where people prefer to play the role of honest broker and not the whole “earn your keep/stay off my land” mentality.

Clearly the Albertan “advantage” is one dimensional. Its all about money and not much else. I mean really, why did it have to come down to an anonymous tip to the media to let the world know that Syncrude’s tailing ponds killed hundreds of birds. Im not ashamed of being Canadian but some of us need a swift punch in the head.

The Homemadesimplesquad and Kim Woodburn truly drive me crazy. They are a frustrating distraction from the frustrations of day to day life in Vancouver. Really are these things so hard to do? Did you really need to put out a TV commercial to tell me to crush the shittickets so they dont roll off the wheel? Dont you think kids have figured a way around that?

So now all of the commercials can be found at the Best Dressed Chicken in Town. We were far too tired from all the carpal tunnel inspiring blogging to say much on them but we will. believe me we will. So until then comment away

Oh no, Vancouver isn’t ranked #1 place to live in the world anymore. Those with their smug little illusions of paradise on earth all seem to squirm when they hear that Vancouver has just been ranked #10 in Canada (not the world) by MoneySense Magazine. The rich newsmen and the downtown seawall joggers all dismiss the ranking, looking to the scenery with glazed over eyes extolling that how could anyplace with this view not be heaven? They dismiss with a shrug the MoneySense Criteria such as Jobs, housing costs, access to doctors, cost of living and other such trivial concerns.

Robo-Harper pauses a moment before stepping into his powerful ConservoCopter.

“My newly designed armor is impervious to small scandal fire, that with my Christ Powered Helmet should protect me in any situation. Still, I feel I hardly need these trappings with mighty ConservoCopter to protect my fine white ass. Its mighty, un-see-throughable, Transparency Armor can withstand any Heavy Accusations Fire. Two externally mounted Automatic Litigation Cannons can rip through solid steel and keeps our enemies at bay. High-Tech, Liberal seeking Not-A-Leader missiles will decimate any opposition and its Non-Conformance Seeking Mega-Cluster Bombs will make the countryside tremble.
With my Armor strapped tight and Mighty ConservoCopter at the ready my Party, even in Minority Government, will be unstoppable!”

An appeal from the Sierra Leone foreign minister

Harper’s Conservatives have always, with loud voices, trumpeted that they represent Canada, that they have strong and wide spread grass roots support, that Canada gave them a mandate to do whatever they want because what they want and what Canada wants are inseperable.

Yet, all this talk seems somewhat hallow and overblown. It makes one want to look a little closer at who they are representing.

Is it Canadians?

The UN is giving Canada grief about our ‘antagonistic and mocking’ attitude towards global development. On all the big global issues like poverty, hunger, disease, the environment, climate change and foreign assistance Canada is now seen standing tall and giving the world community the finger, or two fingers in the case of climate change. We are seen as lacking leadership on global issues, meanwhile being led by an administration that espouses to have their picture next to the word leadership in the dictionary (Also in the Harper’s Modern Canadian Dictionary: Dion’s picture next to the word not-a-leader. A nicely illustrated rendition of Ontario sits above deadbeat. Also, democracy is defined as: DO AS I SAY!)

So far, the Beijing Olympics is by far the best Olympics in a long while, and it hasn’t even started yet! China seems to be a little shell shocked at the real consequences of being in the world spot light. You guys wanted it. You got it. They didn’t seem to account for the fact that the world doesn’t content itself with just the fine table settings and expensive furniture you bought just for the occasion. Nope, the Olympics brings the sort of crowd that will go through your dirty laundry to look at your knickers and checks the attic for the deformed little family secret sitting crouched over a bucket of fish heads.

TheStar.com | Canada | Ethics watchdog probes whether Flaherty broke conflict laws

For some reason I find having Flaherty in charge of our finances somewhat unsettling. I always wonder if he is taking us back to the days of Voodoo economics or worse yet Harris economics. Using tax cuts as a panacea cure all, Flaherty has managed to successfully reduce our surplusses and give the largest corporate tax break in Canadian history. How has this helped the average Canadian? Not very much except for if the bottom falls out of the economy he can say we need more tax cuts and to tighten the belt and cut more social programs.

Sometimes I read comments on blogs but usually I dont. It seems that many comments are filled up with spite filled vitriol by guys named “Wilson” (dont believe me? Take a look through any Canadian newspaper’s commenters and Wilson is everywhere). Why dont I read them? Well as much as I believe they have a right to free speech as objectionable as much of it is, I also have a right to ignore them.

So according to Peter Van Loan 27 million of us arent Canadians. Really Pete? Well maybe we can have an election and all become Canadians again when we get a new government.

The guilty verdict came down on Martins and this Canadian was horrified. So much for ever traveling anywhere ever again.

The Harper governments inability to deal with situation shows just how obtuse, naive, and pig headed they are, not to mention their couldn’t-care-less attitude about Canadian citizens. Instead of dealing with this early on before it became an international issue which required Mexican face saving, they ignored it, letting it sit and fester till it exploded in a great boil of pus and incompetence. (Remind anyone how they let the nuclear isotope problem sit until that to became an international crises? At least they are consistantly incompetant)

The problem here, other then the economic reality that this bill will destroy Canada’s film and television industries, is exactly its stated purpose. McVety wants to stop the tax funding of the “grossly offensive.” Guess what bucko, Art is offensive, otherwise it isn’t Art. Art challenges perceptions, notions, taste, reality. This is its function, this is what it does and if something as vanilla as the representation of sex on screen and the use of the word fuck in the title is the lightening rod example to justify this moronic bill then Canadian Art on screen is fucking doomed.

Why is it we’re picked on? We dont do anything wrong? Dont be mean to us we’re conservatives. Can someone please direct me to the spin and polish that Mr Van Loan thinks is leadership and governing? Please dont feed me more of your shit. I so cant wait to vote this government out

…Was Better Than This Government

Stand up for Canada? Try showing a bit of courage and not hide behind such lame spin

What goes around comes around…

Its about time to fight this ridiculous bill. Noone elected McVety and an unelected individual has no right to impose their views upon our country. Even if he has his 750,000 signatures. Yeah a minor pittance in a country of 32million. Maybe we should also introduce laws to strip McVety’s group of their tax exemptions.

I support the removal of tax exemptions for religious groups and organizations in Canada

What will it take to silence this idiot McVety. He’s got a petition of 750000 names? Big fucking deal Chuck you live in a country of 32 million. I think we as Canadians need to tell Rev McVety to shut up and let Canadians decide what Canadians want. Not some half educated populist nutbar.

I am 100% removing all tax free status from religious organizations. Check out his lame ass answers.

What is dirty and offensive McVety? You definitely are to me

source | Federal government blocks sale of MDA space division

Wow I can hardly believe it. Our pro American, pro business government actually did something for the good of Canada for a change. Yeah they blocked the MDA sale. We control our RadioSat 2 and our Canadarm. About damn time that a government didnt sell off something for a change.

Score one for Canada today.

I have far too much time on my hands and one of the problems with having too much time on your hands is minor things become major annoyances. Take the Home Made Simple Squad. Lead by the terrifying Kim Woodburn, the HMSS is hell bent on pulling the status of women back to the fifties whilst portraying men as incapable of wiping their own ass without the help of their wives and most likely a sheet of Bounce to keep things smelling fresh.

source | cbc.ca Homelessness on the rise in Metro Vancouver, says report

Now maybe it’s because I live on the lip of the downtown Eastside or maybe its because Im one of the poor masses with unbleached teeth but this doesnt surprise me at all. Vancouver has been in denial about this for awhile. A couple of years back I worked downtown and was a good observer of Vancouverite’s behaviour towards the poor and destitute. Now I like to be left alone when Im out and about and on my way to something but if anyone talks to me I try to talk to them like a person. This seems to be the exception rather than the rule though. I’ll be honest we need to lose our tude before the Olympics or we’ll reveal our little yogawear covered secret: Vancouverites have a tendency to be myopic self important assholes who rarely rise above holistic mediocrity except when it comes to the moral pulpit. Food for thought next time you look down on someone for not being up to snuff. Oh yeah and if you keep pushing it will take your plasma TV and BluRay DVD player.

if I was your boss I’d fire your ass. Wait, I pay taxes I AM your boss. Get the fuck to work and stop with the juvenile hijinks. You answer to Canadians not the Conservative party. What the hell happened to your goddamn spine?

source:http://www.canada.com/vancouvercourier/news/opinion/story.html?id=5f634359-bdc6-4738-9e8f-f3e8df159230

If you live in Vancouver you are well aware of our municipal mistake, mayor Sam Sullivan. If you arent you might be for different reasons. Sam Sullivan to me epitomizes a lot of what is wrong with BC politics in the 21st century. His policies are derivative and ill planned (ecodensity anyone?) and his ethics…well I’ve yet to see any.

Recently, mayoral competition released some polls that didnt show Mr Sullivan in such a positive light. Mayor Sullivan responded with the usual vitriol and venom that is so influential from his federal overlords; the Conservative Government.
Ladner’s response? “total unmitigated bullshit”.

Canadian Louise Arbour, former Justice of the Supreme court of Canada, a former Chief Prosecutor of the International Criminal Tribunals for the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda and most recently the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights retires and the entire World thanks her for her long and dedicated service.

Except Canada apparently. We were the ONLY ONES without something to say, and she’s a citizen of our country! Apparently its all under direct orders from Mr Harper that not even a thank you, not even a courtesy wave recognizing that she even existed be issued.

It seems unprecedented (though I am no historian) that a Federal Finance Minister would so blatantly interfere in Provincial politics.

It boggles the mind that anyone could think it appropriate for a Federal Finance Minister to give a press conference the day before a Provincial budget is released only to lecture the Provence about what the Federal Finance Minister believes its budget should and should not have.

It seems unfathomable that a Federal Finance Minister would loudly and publicly undermine the investor confidence in a Canadian Provence by saying no one in their right mind would want to do business there.

The man who wheeled his way into City Hall looks well on his way to rolling right on out again. Seems like he knows it too, going by his increasingly desperate moves policy wise and a less then cool demeanor when faced with the press circuit. He still tries to seem like a domineering tyrant, but you ain’t selling it no more Mr. Sam. We hear the tremor in your voice as you try desperately to sound like you know what you’re talking about. Sorry Sammy Boy, we figured out that you don’t a long time ago, though it took some a while to see past your chair.

So who does the next PM have to be to help Brenda Martin? Chretien? Mulroney? Campbell? Turner? Clark? It sure does seem like our PM of Oil is more interested in obfuscation and libel suits than he is in the well being of a Canadian being held in violation of treaties we have with Mexico.

Stop showing your contempt for average Canadians Harper. We vote and we can kick you out as easily as we let you in. Show that you have some balls and take a stand. Get on that phone, call the President of Mexico and stop being a goddamned coward

Dear Stephen Harper,

When will you be honest and upfront with Canadians? You’re slipperiness makes your claims of being a straight shooter smell awful even way out here. Why wont you be honest and just clear the air? It’s obvious you aren’t afraid of parliamentarians but why dont you have the balls to face Canadians?

Your spin is not impressive. Answering questions with cheap shots and trying to spin reality into your world is no longer working. I think you are a liar, my neighbour thinks you’re a liar, growing numbers of Canadians think you are a liar.

Weird, this one kinda scared me when I was doing it. It kept staring at me smiling and it felt like it was thinking “Oh yeah boy get rid of the caterpillars”

Man those were some challenging crawlers but they more than made up for Dion’s fair squigglies.

Im an openminded guy. I believe everyone should have the same rights as others and this comes to same sex marriage, however after seeing this picture I am convinced that there should be a law against politicians wearing floral wife-beaters.

Yikes!

U.S. may protect oilsands - source: National Post 3/11/08

It disturbs me when I read articles about the US govt reclassifying oil produced in the Tar Sands as conventional oil to avoid the strict regulations that come with the alternative fuel classification. I understand the impact of having cheap oil on the everyday cost of life (believe me, being unemployed you know the cost of living quite acutely) and I also understand North America’s interest in freeing us from the dependence on middle e