
Van Loan Daydreams of all the Pervy Eavesdropping to come
We, The Government of Canada, formerly the New Government of Canada, formerly the Official Opposition, formerly the Conservative Party, formerly the Reform party, formerly the Alliance party, formerly a bunch of cranky old men with too much money and a nasty mean streak…
…anyway, We who tell You what to do are preparing sweeping new eavesdropping legislation. We need to give our goons, I mean police, more powerful powers in order to outpower the powers of the criminals, pervs, pederasts and terrorists that We not so secretly suspect all of You to be.
We must ensure that none of You are getting up to anything We don’t want you to, We must be able to track You and Your actions, words, ideas, and brain farts in order to protect you from the criminals, pervs, pederasts and terrorists that You could very well be.
Of course these powers offer the opportunity to be abused by police and politician. But hey, We are doing only what The People of Canada elected Steven Harper to do, (because ALL of you voted for Stevey and if you didn’t you better keep your mouth shut about it!)
You can trust us with these powers. It’s not like we did secret recordings of opposition parties during an election. Oh wait, well, um, We wont abuse these powers once we have them because we won’t need to illicitly fight for your right to have a Conservative Government anymore.
By pretending that we are keeping you safe from the rampant pedophiles, terrorists and criminals that our Draconian Policies help create, we can keep you in constant fear and distract you from noticing our own nutbar agenda as we take a once vibrant country and turn it into a shithole playground for the rich.
What do you mean you question the suitability of this legislation. Sounds like the talk of a pederastic, terrorist, criminal, seperatist homosexual! We better put you on our list. I mean, the list we will make once we pass the legislation. Yes…That will do nicely.