Summer Time And The Wanking Is easy
The sun is out in Vancouver and with the Sun comes the people exposing as much flesh as they dare to soak in that much needed Vitamin D. It was a long winter, it always is, but this winter something changed here in the depths of Mount Pleasant. Lots of new people moved in this winter, which in itself is not unusual, but its who has moved in. Not the usual immigrants, criminals, weirdos, hippies, sketchy musicians, paranoid schizophrenics, starving artists, poor families, single mothers and the usual wonderful riff raff that used to be here. No, they are being displaced. Instead we now have hipsters.
Hipsters.
Young, obnoxious Hipsters who are now traveling around in swarms. They came out this weekend walking around with startled eyes as they finally get out into the neighbourhood they now call home. Yes, there are career alcoholics in the park. Yes, Kingsgate mall is called Hellsgate Mall for a reason. Yes, the working girls still hang out on the corners and used condoms on the lawn are not unusual.
All these things are about to be wiped out by the in surge of low tier wankers who are stealing all the affordable housing from the traditional neighbourhood groups because these waves of ignorant wankers leave in their wankerous wake inflated costs of living so like locusts they must constantly move on to new feeding grounds. Behind them is not but a barren wasteland of unaffordably posh mindlessness.
You can watch it happen. As the posh cool-as-shits have been moving in the number of homeless and panhandlers has been visibly increasing. They are also visibly more distressed then before. Have these fuck head wankers looked into the eyes of those who look up pleading with terror in their eyes? Of facing another night alone and vulnerable on the spine destroying concrete? Nah, we’re just on our way to Me & Julio’s for wine and appies.
The homeless are so crowded on the Drive that some are having to shift over to main, with several large encampments settling in there. Established encampments. Long Haul encampments.
Hellsgate Mall is already being made wanker friendly. The humble lotto and ice cream stall has been replaced by a slick new espresso coffee/foccacia sandwich pavilion and I fucking hate focaccia bread! (somebody please start making normal sandwiches again!) The buy low foods is ripping out all its old equipment and putting in slick new fixtures. (Are food prices going to go up because of this?) Everything is being renovated so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of the well to do fuck heads who bought into all those shitty main street condos.
Their insidious tendrils have squirmed all the way up to Fraser Street, which thankfully still remains sketchy, but for how long? Soon they will be up to Clark! Already Commercial Drive is seeing an increased evening and weekend influx of of rude and obnoxious wankers strutting around like they own the place. Thankfully The Drive is resilient enough to resist the wanker advances but the people of the drive are already getting annoyed at the new visitors. And damage is being done. The Drive has always had a few fancy places to dine but now the balance is starting to shift as establishments for working class and bohemians are being replaced by poshed out bars designed for trend.
The oddest thing of all is that hippies are becoming a rarity. As obnoxious as they were they were no way near as obnoxious as the hipster set, whose garish ugly fashions and entitled attitude make them far worse then the patchouli smelling, cigarette bumming hippies.
So we will have to wait and see what happens, but until then I know I am not going to but up with any of their bull shit. If they’re rude or pushy or start hassling the staff at a shop I’m going to give them one warning to smarten up. After that…well, we’ll see.
Last 5 posts by JohnEdgar
- The Fall of Harper - November 30th, 2008
- Brake Cuttings A Bad Fucking Sign - October 7th, 2008
- SHAME!!! - July 15th, 2008
- Midnight At The Rio - July 6th, 2008
- Canada's Copyright Crackdown - June 23rd, 2008
