Meancouver

Robo-Harper pauses a moment before stepping into his powerful ConservoCopter.

“My newly designed armor is impervious to small scandal fire, that with my Christ Powered Helmet should protect me in any situation. Still, I feel I hardly need these trappings with mighty ConservoCopter to protect my fine white ass. Its mighty, un-see-throughable, Transparency Armor can withstand any Heavy Accusations Fire. Two externally mounted Automatic Litigation Cannons can rip through solid steel and keeps our enemies at bay. High-Tech, Liberal seeking Not-A-Leader missiles will decimate any opposition and its Non-Conformance Seeking Mega-Cluster Bombs will make the countryside tremble.
With my Armor strapped tight and Mighty ConservoCopter at the ready my Party, even in Minority Government, will be unstoppable!”

Robo-Harper turns to the camera and gives Team Tory the big thumbs up before strapping on his trusty Christ Powered Helmet and stepping behind ConservoCopter’s massive control panel. Revving up the Red-Neck servos, Robo-Harper looks out at the tarmac and lifts the armed behemoth that is ConserevoCopter slowly into the air.

Bursting into the sky through clouds of white gossamer, Robo-Harper commandingly steers ConservoCopter over the city of Calgary, setting course for Ottawa. ConservoCopter’s Turbo-Powered Fuck-You-Jets flare him ever faster towards his destiny, but one worry still lays hidden behind his steely, I’m-A-Leader stare.

The dreaded surface-to-air Reality-Bringer missiles. They have brought down many Governments before, with better policies even. They are one of many dangers our hero Robo-Harper will face in the trying times to come.

Hovering before a Parliament that stands quiet and alone in the frost dappled Canadian morn’, RoboHarper powers up weapons systems and lowers his High-Tech ConservoVisor to block out and scramble any Not-Conservative-Approved signals .

“This one is for the Tar Sands.” He says between gritted teeth, sending ConservoCopter streaking down from on high like God’s own vengance, his hideous battle cry echoing throughout the land.

“I’M-A-LEADER!!” He screams, hurtling towards fate like a coked-up hockey goon with nothing left to lose.

Tune in Next for the Next Thrilling Adventure of:

Robo-Harper

in

SCANDALPROOF

The Most Awesomist Thrill Ride Extravaganza Mega Adventure In The History of Time.

Oh Yeah!