Harper's Poison

It may be premature to call it but it looks as if Steven’s goose is cooked.  By blatantly politicizing the Global Economic Crisis the Harperites have shown their empty hand, exposing the uselessness of an organization that knows only how to bully and manipulate.  Political tactics and maneuvering may look impressive but actually running the country seems to be well beyond the scope of the mean and small minded crew that surround mastermind and Leader by Heavenly Decree Steven Harper.

Damn I'm Good!

During the election when asked about our financial plan to deal with the biggest and most hideously complicated global economic crisis in history, we told you all would be revealed at the Economic Update.   Now that the time has come for us to unveil the Economic Update, We are here to tell you that we actually meant to say that it would be at the Budget. Sorry. My bad.

I was shocked to read about the Toronto incidents of people with Liberal signs on their lawns having their tires slashed, their property defaced and even their brakes cut, almost causing several accidents.  What the hell are brown shirt tactics doing in Canada? Are we going to have a Night of Long Knives as well?

And its not just Toronto, apparently this is country wide.

Ohhhhh Can-a-da,

Our Tar Sands Loving Land.

True Profit Comes,

When We Don’t Give A Damn.

With Oiled Hearts,

We’ll Watch You Die,

From Tailings and Disease.

With Bloodied Hands,

Oh Canada,

We’ll Do With You As We Please.

Water in Our Land,

Is Black and Deadly.

Oh Canada

We’ll Do With You As We Please

Oh Canada

We’ll Do with You As We Please!

Again!

Oh Can-a-da

Our Foreign Own-ed Land.

Iconic Companies,

Owned By The Japanese.

With Corporate Hearts,

What?  CBC is going to air Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune?  How lame is that.

Now I’ve enjoyed both shows on occasion but is CBC really that idea deprived that their just going to buy American game shows now?  I mean, sure they have Canadian hosts (if you still count as Canadian after 30 years or so in America) and they are the aristocracy of game show hosts (though Bob Barker still is king!) but it just sticks in my throat for some reason.

Fuck Water!

We as a nation known in some circles as Canada face a dire threat. This threat, a threat from within, is more dire and threatening then any dire threat we have been direly threatened with before.

This is not the massing of highly trained Taliban troops around the Canadian mission in Kandahar. This is not the drowning of our economy in Tar Money nor the endless scandal’s and shady deals that glom to my government on a weekly basis. No, the direness of this threat is greater then all these combined.

Good Job!

Water:

A clear, colourless, tasteless liquid found everywhere. It falls from the sky for God’s sake!

Uses: A powerful industrial solvent, especially useful in tar Sands oil extraction.

Canadian Lakes:

Holes in the ground with water in them. There’s lots of them so their pretty much disposable.

Known Uses: Receptacles for mine tailings, used condoms, other shit we don’t want.

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For More On The Reclassification of Pristine Canadian Lakes to “tailings impound areas” visit

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/06/16/condemned-lakes.html?ref=rss