West End Girl
Hey Gents, she’s single! (I wonder why)
” This is to the bald guy who kicked my cellphone onto the tracks at the Broadway SkyTrain station. I’m sorry if my conversation was bothering you. I’m a fun person and like to laugh. I guess you’re just not a morning person. I could tell you were an ass when you got on at Metrotown. You were sitting behind me with some dumb book. I could feel your eyes burning through the back of my head while I got the 911 (sic) from my friend. When I dropped my phone at Broadway station, instead of being a gentleman and picking it up for me, you kicked it onto the tracks! How was I supposed to get it back? Oh, and I heard you mutter that I was a “braying c—” and then you walked away. One question: What the hell’s wrong with you? And why didn’t anybody else go onto the tracks and try to get the phone back for me? Aren’t there any real men left in Vancouver?”
Heather
To the girl who wrote the West Ender to whine about the big bad man who kicked her cell phone on to the rails, well, when you force people to listen to your dump ass conversations of course they are going to be pissed. I’ve been trapped many times listening to everything from the intimately tragic to the insanely benign as people blather into their cell phones while on public transit. At least wait till you get off the bus or train before you start chit chatting like no ones there.
This is not to say he was justified in kicking you phone onto the rails but I can relate. As well, from the tone of your letter you do sound like you are a braying cunt, especially since you expect a man to come and jump onto the rails to get your annoying little gadget. Get a clue! That is extremely dangerous, and if you had any sense you would realize it. If I child fell onto the rails, yes, go in and haul them out as fast as you can but to face speeding trains and ten thousand volts of death just to appease your sense of antiquated feminine neediness sounds like a sour deal to me. As for your question of where the real men are, I’m pretty sure there staying well clear of you and your obnoxious self centeredness. Although, perhaps you and this man should get together, it sounds like you deserve each other.
P.S. Yes you are right, books are dumb as are the people who read them.
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